so, a week ago Sunday i innocently lifted the lid of the grand piano at church, and it led to unimaginable pain and events that i could never have imagined in a million years.

as i lifted the lid, i felt a little twinge of pain, but thought it would just go away.  boy oh boy, was i ever wrong.  that night, as i stood playing the keyboard, i felt my lower back getting stiffer and more sore. that night i was engaged in a worship experience that was so wonderful, i didn’t really focus on how i felt physically, but by the end of the service i couldn’t bend at all, and was starting to get a little worried.  still, i figured that a few pain killers at home and a snuggle with the heating pad would make it all go away.  again… i was so very, very wrong.

by Monday morning, i couldn’t get out of bed without help.  what i didn’t know was that ever since i’d opened that piano lid, the muscles in my lower back were scrunching up further and further until they finally reached their limit and had nowhere else to scrunch. when my alarm went off, i knew i would not be able to go into work, so i called in.  Brian tried to help me, but the pain was so extreme i thought maybe i should just try to roll out and land on my knees.  what a mistake that was… as i landed, the pain that shot through my back was enough to make me scream out loud.  by the time Brian helped me to the washroom, the pain was so intense i thought i might pass out.  i’ll spare you the details of what happened – suffice to say i considered asking him to call 911.  eventually all of that passed and i thought maybe  i could just go to the doctor and get fixed up with some pain killers and muscle relaxants.

back when Josh was 2 and Brian fractured his back, there were a few days when Brian needed help with everything from showering to dressing.  on Monday, those roles were reversed – i needed help with showering and dressing, and let’s just say there was a lot of crying, moaning and screaming in amongst all of that.  Brian successfully got Josh off to school, and then we made it to the doctor where Brian had to wheel me in in a wheelchair – when i could not get out of the chair, the PA that we saw suggested that a trip to the ER might be in order, and gave us the choice of driving there ourselves or calling an ambulance.  i definitely wanted the ambulance – number one, i knew i could get pain relief faster that way and number two i’d always wondered what it would be like to ride in an ambulance, oh and number 3 i could not stand the idea of driving down pot-hole-ridden Albany roads in our Buick one more time.

so the paramedics arrived.  God bless them, i think the only time i’ve ever been that happy to see medical personnel was when the anesthetist arrived with my epidural when Josh was being born.  only this time, the pain was far worse than labor.  to you people reading this who have never been through labor, i’m sorry i have no words to explain what i was feeling.  but those of you who’ve gone through labor… at least the pain stops at some point AND at the end you have a beautiful baby to show for it.  in this situation, i was in unbearable pain (could not move my legs without crying), and there was just no end in sight to the pain.  when the first paramedic said they’d call ahead to the hospital and get approval for morphine, i could have hugged him.  once that morphine was in the iv in my arm, i could still feel the horrible awful pain, but i just didn’t care any more.

so i got to ride on a stretcher and get wheeled out to the ambulance… and all i could think of was the night that the duty inspector came over the air at work and told me to call Georgian Ambulance and let them know that one of their ambulances leaving the scene of an accident on the 400 had a back door open and stuff falling out.  fortunately that was not the case here!!  all the doors were closed and off we went.  i found out that one of the paramedics, Renee, was not only an inch taller than me, but we were born a few weeks apart, her grandpa pastored Pineview at one point in the ’80’s, and she is the neighbor of friends of ours at Pineview.  we chatted all the way to the hospital and she did such a great job of keeping my mind off of everything else that i could have been worried about.

the hospital… well, i was in the “overflow” area which is a nice way of saying i was in the hallway.  it was interesting.  i ran into the dad of one of Josh’s little pals from church who works in the ER, and i waited FOREVER for further pain relief.  i hate needles… but i’ve never been so happy to see one in my entire life as i was on Monday afternoon.  the doctor had ordered morphine, but it didn’t come… and didn’t come… and didn’t come.  finally he happened to walk by and see me in tears, which inspired him to go and see why the morphine hadn’t come.  and then it took another 20 minutes for the morphine to arrive. i think all told i was in the ER for about 5 or 6 hours.  no imaging since they determined that it was more than likely a very very very very very bad muscle strain from what had happened. just a lot of laying on a stretcher crying wishing for pain relief.  oh, and a lot of telling my sad pathetic story and medical history to about 10 different people, most of whom were very nice.  also, at some point, the story of me lifting the LID of the piano got changed to me lifting the entire piano.  listening skills, folks.  they are critical.

so when the morphine was no longer really doing anything for me, they gave me an oral dose of valium and decided that since that took effect and i could walk with no assistance, they let me go home.  ($100 copay)  by the time we got home, i had realized that it was probably a combination of morphine and valium that had me feeling so good at the hospital…. because i was NOT feeling good.  in fact, i was almost at the same point that i had been at in the morning.  to make matters worse, the doctor at the emergency room had neglected to fill out an important part of the scrip, meaning that the scrip could not be filled until a doctor fixed it by phone.  the pharmacy called the ER 3 times, spoke with 3 different nurses and left 3 messages.  i called the ER and spoke with someone who was pretty rude (i get it, they are stressed… still no need to be rude).  Brian was ready to go to CVS and get the actual piece of paper and go to the ER and make them fix it… he got to CVS and the ER had JUST called and fixed the scrip so i could get some small bit of relief.  (i felt very loved that my husband would go and do something like that for me)

on Tuesday morning, it became apparent that Valium and otc Motrin were pretty meaningless as a method of pain control or relief.  we called my family doctor, who not only referred me to an orthopedic pain management specialist but got me an appointment within the hour.  in excruciating pain, holding onto Brian every step of the way, i made it into the waiting room of the specialist.  by that point i was crying and didn’t care who saw my tears.  a nurse came and got me for xrays, and it wasn’t long before i was in an exam room, and the wonderful Dr. Rigolosi came in to speak with us.  he explained that i had a severe back strain, and took my pain really seriously.  he upped my valium dosage and prescribed percocet (oxycodone) as well, and explained what the side effects of those meds would be.  he then gave me a referral to his chiropractor upstairs, and told me to go up there immediately and ask them to fit me in.  Dr. Nussbaum took one look at the agony on my face and said he’d fit me right in, and while i was there Dr. Rigolosi called to make sure i’d gotten in.

all along the way while this was happening, people were praying for me.  praying for healing, praying for direction as to the right doctors… just praying that God would intervene.  i absolutely believe that the appointments with those two doctors were brought about by divine intervention. i “walked” into the chiropractor’s office leaning on my husband like you would lean on crutches, walking slower than someone with a walker would – and by the time he finished the electric stim treatment with heat, i was able to stand up using my legs, not leaning on anybody.  the pain did return, and i’m still battling pain, but it has lessened significantly with each treatment.  i had my last appointment with Dr. Rigolosi today, and he said that my comparison of that pain being worse than labor is entirely accurate, but that most people, especially those who have not experienced labor, have a hard time believing that muscle spasms can create that much pain.  (which is why i think the ER doc prescribed so little in the way of pain relief)

i also have to address the fact that my coworkers at Starbucks are A.W.E.S.O.M.E.  there is no other way to put it – they rearranged schedules and lives to cover the shifts that i’ve had to miss.  when i stupidly/stubbornly went back to work on Saturday and Monday, they did everything possible to help me out and helped me realize that working in the amount of pain i was in was just plain stupid.  they also laughed their heads off with me on Monday when laughter was truly the best medicine. (i think they thought i was on percocet, but i was just in too much pain to do anything but laugh) let’s just say that French accents and jazz hands have never been so ridiculously funny.

and that brings us to where we are now.  i’m thankful to God, who orchestrated everything we’ve needed and who is working on my back through my amazing chiropractor.  i’m thankful to Ellen, who picked Josh up from school when we were still at the hospital, to our parents who offered to come and help if we needed it, to our church family members who have brought meals over, to the many many family, friends and people i’ve never even met around the world who have prayed and are praying, to the coworkers who covered my shifts and were so thoughtful towards me, to the doctors who took my pain seriously and made a difference so that i could get back to being the kind of wife and mom that i want to be, to my sweet son who prays for me and asks me every day how my back feels and helps his daddy take care of me, and of course to my sweet husband who has done everything for me when i could do nothing for myself, and who has embodied the “sickness and health” part of our marriage vows with tenderness and humor for the past several days.  and if you’ve made it this far, i thank you 🙂