when i started working at YRP all those many moons ago, an Inspector told me that police work was more than just a job, it was a way of life and it gets in your blood. well, he was right. i fell in love with my job and it just about killed me to actually write my letter of resignation.

since we moved to Albany, a peculiar thing has happened to me quite often. whenever i see a police car go racing by lights and sirens, i have an urge to dispatch! i have this crazy need to know where that unit is going and why! at first i thought i was a little nuts – but i realize that it probably won’t go away any time soon. it’s most definitely in my blood.

the other day, while reading Cyndi’s blog, i was reminded of Petra. Ah, Petra, the good ol’ rock and roll band of my youth… i loved those guys! i have fond memories of seeing them in concert at Massey Hall many moons ago. tonight i sat with Josh on my lap and watched a few videos on YouTube – Josh quite enjoyed himself! And so, i present to you…

check out that puffy pirate shirt! in the words of Josh, “mhmm, yah!”

www.knittingpatterncentral.com that is… home of tons of free patterns for knit and crochet… oh woe is me, i can’t find ’em anywhere!!!

i’ve heard of other kids who came up with weird and wonderful names for their parents (Mr. & Mrs. Bumby come to mind)… and never dreamed that my sweet little man would call me anything but Mommy!

until he started calling me Babbie. a few weeks back, he began with Daddy, which was wonderful and the cause of much rejoicing. and i wondered how soon Mommy would follow… but to no avail. then, one day, he started calling me Babbie! we’ve racked our brains as to where this could be coming from, but we can’t think of a single thing. so for now i’ll just think of it as my special pet name. sure beats “hey you!” 🙂

we live in a country where Smarties are not made of chocolate!! (with Hallowe’en approaching, i thought this was pertinent… but now i realize that i cannot write a post of any significant length on this topic!) alas, i cannot get REAL Smarties here – so i am thankful for Bulk Barn and the import van (aka my parents) that arrives every couple of months!

surprisingly, it’s possible to have a lot of deep thoughts while you’re chasing a toddler around the house.

lately, i have been hearing a song a lot on the radio that’s become so meaningful to me in light of the miscarriage i had in March. it’s a song by Matt Redman, Blessed Be Your Name.

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say…
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

Why do i like this song so much? Because it’s a good tune, for one. However, the main reason is that it is so well written, and hidden in the beautiful words are a great truth. Praising God when we are in the midst of difficulty and turmoil is not a natural reaction – it is a choice. It is a choice that requires an understanding of God’s omnipotence, God’s omniscience, and God’s love for humanity.

It is really easy to give praise and glory to God when things are going all right, when the sun is shining in life and we’re all content and happy. It is when storms hit and we’re tossed around, we lose a loved one, we lose a baby, we lose our financial stability, whatever it is… that is when, if one is going to praise God and bless His name, it must be a conscious choice. I can’t say that my first reaction when i lost the baby was to praise God – my first reaction was anger, sadness, questions. Further down the road, it’s still not easy – but i am coming to a new understanding of God. He does not require me to be perfect, He does not expect me to come to him each day saying “So, i’m fine, how are you?” with a big plastic smile on my face. He alone knows every single imperfection, He alone knows my secret fear, my secret pain. And because of that (and many other reasons), i choose to give Him, the keeper of my heart, all of my praise.